


Memories

by TrueCrossGhoul



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst?, Basically how episode six should have ended, Confessions, Everyone is really gay wow, M/M, comfort the sad bby, fluff!, kisses!, kuro is sad, lots and lots of tears, protect him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7770427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrueCrossGhoul/pseuds/TrueCrossGhoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Licht forces Kuro to re-live a traumatic memory, resulting in tears and confessions later at home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> okay let me get one thing straight: I love Ophelia a lot, and I know that it was wrong of me to change her character like this, but y'know... it's a fan fiction so whatever

"Cry." Litch command as he struck the first note of many on his piano. The song he played apparently triggered bad memories. Instantly, Lawless fell to the ground, overcome with grief.

"Ophelia..." He mumbled, curling into a tight ball on the ground. "Shit this is a bad memory for me. Licht, you know that this is the _only_ one of your songs that I hate!" 

Mahiru's mind flooded with memories concerning his mom. Baking with her, cleaning with her, the way her hair bounced when she walked, her death, her funeral. A tear rolled down his cheek, which he quickly wiped. It was replaced by another almost instantaneously. And another. And another. 

_No, no more crying._

He had to stop Litch's playing. _Was this his way of fighting, and was his piano his weapon?_

Before he was able to get to the piano, a certain shade of blue caught his gaze out of the corner of his eye. Kuro. Mahiru's broom was bent and stuck into the wall, pinning Kuro against it. Licht had thrown it before he had started to play. When Mahiru took a closer look at Kuro, he noticed that something about him was off. He was slumped over, resting on the broom with buckled knees. His head was down, with wide, unblinking eyes fixated on the floor.

"Kuro..." Mahiru whisered, hardly audible over Licht's playing. The vampire didn't look up or make any reaction to his name at all. If this song triggered bad memories, Something awful must have happened to Kuro to put him in shock like this. Mahiru abandoned his plan to stop Licht's playing, and instead ran to Kuro's side where he pried his broom out of the wall. With nothing to lean on, Kuro fell to his knees.

"Are you alright?" Mahiru asked the vampire, his hand gently resting on his shoulder. Kuro didn't move, he only stared at the ground a few feet in front of him. "Kuro?" A tear rolled down the vampire's face. _Oh shit._ Kuro never shed a tear before, even when he had been impaled, stabbed, or sliced. Whatever happened to Kuro in his past must have scarred him. Mahiru pulled Kuro into a tight hug, to which the vampire didn't respond to. 

"That's enough! I'll kill you, angel bastard!" Lawless yelled, fed up with his forced memory. He lunged at the pianist, knocking the piano over in the process. 

"You rotten hedgehog!" Licht growled, his voice dripping with venom. "Go to hell!" They fought behind the sloth pair, who were still locked in a tight embrace.

"Are you okay?" Mahiru mumbled, gently rubbing Kuro's back.

"I don't know." He replied. He was telling the truth, he really didn't know. He wanted to say yes to make Mahiru feel better, but he couldn't. "...I'm sorry." 

"It's not your fault." Mahiru muttered, gripping Kuro tighter. 

"...Yes it is, actually." Kuro explained, then stood up. Mahiru rose as well, obviously concerned with Kuro. "What I did was my fault, but that's not important now." He stretched and watched Licht and Lawless battle it out, before being separated by Crantz and a whale mascot named Gill.

"That's it, you two are sharing a room tonight!" Crantz threatened, as though they were children. The Greed pair groaned in unison, but smirked at each other when Crantz looked away. _Suspicious._ Crantz and Gill walked off, leaving Lawness and Licht alone. They walked over to the sloth pair, the corners of their mouths turned up as though they were happy. Mahiru and Kuro raised an eyebrow.

"It's been months since Crantz made us share a room." Lawless groaned. Licht laughed. "I was starting to get restless. We always have to put on a big show so they make us stay together."

"Yeah, I thought we would never be able to do that again." Licht responded. Kuro squinted at them, still unsure of what they meant. Mahiru stared at their intertwined hands. _Are they... Are they a couple or something?_

"Erm... What do you mean?" Mahiru asked, tearing his eyes from their hands in order to make eye contact. 

"Oh we're fuc-"

" _Together._ " Licht corrected his servamp's language with a groan. Kuro stared at Lawless, unblinking. 

"Haha, Pretty surprising, right? I bet you thought I was strai-"

"Lawless, I've always known that you were gay. You weren't fooling anyone." Kuro mumbled, staring the floor. Lawless looked exasperated. 

"W-wait what?!" Lawless yelped.

"Well, you _are_ kind of a theatre kid, also we all knew that 'Ophelia' was the nickname you gave to that dude that keep coming over. I'm your big brother, did you really think I wouldn't see through that?" Kuro explained in a monotone voice. uncaring, or perhaps depressed. Lawless groaned.

"Anyways, we'll be going." Licht noted as he tugged on Lawless's shirt collar. He began to lead him towards the door.

"uh, alright then. Have fun... Doing whatever you're doing..." Mahiru called to them as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. 

"Let's go." Kuro mumbled as he headed for the exit. Mahiru followed without any questions asked.

**-X-X-**

When the pair arrived home, Kuro headed directly to the tv room. Mahiru couldn't help but feel guilty, even though he didn't do anything wrong. He decided that he should try to comfort Kuro as much as he could until he was feeling better. _how do you comfort somebody in this situation? Hot cocoa? A blanket? Hugs? Silence? All of those things? Yeah, that sounds good. Anything for Kuro._

With a pot of milk heating on the stove for the cocoa (Beccause who in the right mind makes it with _WATER?_ ), Mahiru walked over to his room and grabbed a blanket that was draped over his bed. He returned to the kitchen with the blanket in his hands, placed it on the floor, then stirred the milk that had begun to boil. He mixed in the hot chocolate powder, then poured the drink into two identical mugs. Kuro, in the next room over, didn't know what Mahiru was up to. He didn't bother to check, either. 

When Mahiru appeared in the living room, Kuro didn't move his head. He was sitting on a pillow on the floor, staring at the tv. Old re-runs of Doctor Who were playing, from the second season if Mahiru had to guess. He pulled the coffee table up so the pair could reach their mugs while sitting, then tossed another pillow on the ground. He walked back into the kitchen, grabbed the two mugs of hot chocolate, and brought them to the living room.

"Here," Mahiru said as he handed him his cocoa, then draped his blanket over Kuro and himself. Kuro shrank back for a second, but then regained his normal stature. The brunette then leaned into his vampire companion, his arms wrapped around his waist. Kuro looked around for a moment, confused.

"Wh-"

"I'm sorry about what happened to you. I don't know what it was, but still." Mahiru muttered. Kuro tensed up for a moment, before sighing and staring down at the floor. 

"Mahiru... You don't have to do this." He mumbled.

"Thinking simply, I can't just let you carry this weight alone." Mahiru smiled. "I don't want you to be sad. You don't deserve to be unhappy." Kuro was silent for a moment, before resting his head on Mahiru's shoulder.

"I mean, I definitely do, but thank you." Kuro whispered, an audible crack in his voice. A single tear rolled down his pale face, triggering a pain in Mahiru's heart. He rested one hand on the vampire's shoulder, the other one gently rubbing his side in an affectionate way. A non-verbal _'You're okay, You're safe with me'_. The gesture made Kuro's eyes overflow, tears dripping silently from his eyes to the floor. His lip quivered as he gently buried his face in the crook of Mahiru's shoulder, his hand gripping the Eve's t-shirt tightly. Mahiru repositioned his body so he could envelope Kuro's body in his arms.

The TV in the background quietly played, it being the only light and sound in the room. Kuro's body tensed as silent sobs escaped his body. Each sharp intake of breath made his body jump slightly. Mahiru felt awful that Kuro had to go through this. It reminded him of what he felt like after his mother's death. Thinking about that, plus Kuro's breakdown, made Mahiru want to cry as well. So much, in fact, that a drop of liquid flowed down his cheek. The tears kept coming, but he couldn't let Kuro know that he was crying. He would think that it was his fault, then probably get even more sad.

After a long time, Kuro clamed down. He didn't let go of Mahiru, and Mahiru didn't let go of him. Their tears had dried up, Kuro never noticed that Mahiru was crying. 

"Can you tell me what memory you saw when Licht was playing?" Mahiru asked, mumbling into Kuro's hood.

"I can't." Kuro responded. "I'm sorry."

"Okay then. I'll wait until you're comfortable enough with the memory and I. Even if you never do tell me, I promise that I won't be mad." 

"Thank you." Kuro buried his head into Mahiru's shoulder, embarrassed about what he would ask next. "M-Mahiru... This might sound weird but... C-can I sleep with you tonight?" He stuttered. Mahiru's face turned bright red. He scooted himself away from Kuro, a confused look on his face.

"Wh- _whAT?!_ That's a little sudden, isn't it?!" Mahiru screeched. "Although if you really want to... N-no! I'm seventeen!" He squawked. Kuro's mouth formed an almost straight line, save for the laugh about to erupt from it. To keep himself from laughing, he hardly breathed. 

"That's... That's not what I meant Mahiru..." He tried to force back a giggle, but it wasn't going so well. "I meant... Can I sleep in your bed with you? I don't feel well... Mentally I mean." He explained.

"O-Oh yeah of course." Mahiru smacked his forehead with his palm. "Yeah. Go grab your pillow, I only have one. Don't forget to brush your teeth and get your pajamas on, too."

"Alright, see you in a bit." Kuro mumbled as he stood up and stretched. 

**-X-X-**

Kuro stood in the doorway to Mahiru's room with a pillow in his hand, as if he needed permission to enter. His tri-toned grey t-shirt and flannel pj pants that Mahiru gave him provided him with lots of comfort, so much better than his regular skinny jeans and jacket.

"You can come in..." Mahiru smiled as he fluffed his own pillow. Kuro shuffled in, then set his pillow next to Mahiru's. _What am I supposed to do now? Just get into Mahiru's bed with him?_ The two had never slept together so far. Come to think of it- Kuro had never slept with anybody in his life. Not in a sexual way, he has just always been alone. Maybe this was another reason why he was depressed. At any rate, he still had no idea how to do this. Mahiru slid into bed quick and easily, then waited for Kuro. Maybe it would just be easiest to transform into a cat and sleep at the foot of his bed.

No, that wouldn't make him feel better. He knew that he wanted to sleep beside him and share his warmth. Maybe having another person in such close proximity would make him feel okay. Maybe.

Kuro awkwardly climbed into Mahiru's bed and pulled the covers up to his ears. Mahiru laughed silently at seeing a deadly vampire embarrassed at sharing a bed, then switched off his bedside lamp with a smile. Kuro turned so he was facing Mahiru; He was facing the same direction, and therefore Mahiru was staring at the wall. 

_What do I do now? I'm not feeling any better. Am I supposed to... Cuddle him? Or something?_ Kuro thought to himself. He shifted around a bit, then gently buried his face in Mahiru's back and draped one arm loosely over his body. Mahiru jumped slightly, then relaxed into the touch. Kuro took this as an invitation to scoot closer, so he did. 

_What am I doing? Is this spooning? Why am I enjoying this?_ Kuro exhaled, not quite hard enough to be considered a sigh, And closed his eyes.

 _What is this pain in my chest? I've never felt it before..._ The vampire wondered. _Is this love?_ He had seen it portrayed on TV on numerous occasions. In a state of confusion and depression, Kuro decided to speak up about it.

"Hey Mahiru?" He asked, his face pressed into Mahiru's back.

"Yeah?" The eve mumbled sleepily. 

"I think I love you..." Kuro stated, muffled by his Eve's shirt. Mahiru's back went ridged for a moment, then he relaxed.

"O-Oh, yeah?" Mahiru turned around so he was facing Kuro, still wrapped in his arms. "I... I think I love you too." Kuro's eyes widened. He was glad that Mahiru wouldn't be able to see the blush that had formed on his face.

"Really?" He giggled as he sat up. "You do?"

"Y-yeah! I do!" Mahiru laughed, sitting up as well. Kuro joined in. The two laughed together until a car passed by outside, illuminating the room slightly. A glimmer of light on Kuro's cheeks told Mahiru that his servamp had been crying. Just like that time with Sakuya. Mahiru wiped away Kuro's tears, which were quickly replaced. Kuro stopped laughing, realizing with a jolt that he had begun to cry again. 

"I'm sorry..." He mumbled, turning his head to the side. Mahiru felt a pang of guilt. He placed his hand under Kuro's chin, then gently turned his head towards him, only to see the vampire's face scrunched up and tear stained. He was shaking slightly, his breathing coming out in short sobs. "I'm really sorry..." He wimpered, covering his face with his arm. 

"Kuro, it's okay. Why are you crying?" Mahiru asked in a soothing voice, laying a hand on his shoulder. Kuro shook his head slowly, still covered by his arm.

"I don't know? everything? Nothing?" He mumbled through sobs. "I'm really happy right now, but I can't stop crying. I just really didn't want to think of that memory ever again but Licht forced me to relive the entire thing. It's hard, I guess. Even though I didn't ever want to think about what I did, I'm always weighed down by it. Even though I never directly think of the memory, it still hurts. That's another reason why I always seem so distant. It's not just because I'm Sloth. I'm hurting... Always.

"I felt so lonely before you picked me up. Honestly, I was only laying in the middle of the street because I secretly wanted to be run over. Even though I knew that it wouldn't kill me, I still wanted it. I thought I would get lucky and die, but no such luck. That's one of the bad things about being immortal. You ended up saving my metaphorical _life_ , Mahiru. More than that, you made me feel better. Even if it was only by little bits at a time, I was starting to want to stay alive. Sure, I was sill depressed, but I wanted to _live_. You were the only one in a very long time to show me kindness, and that included my own family. Sure, you're a little stubborn, but you still took care of me.

"Then, when Licht made me re-live my memory, it was in such great detail. It literally felt as though I was right there again. It was terrible. I couldn't even cry about it, I was in shock. Just like I was after the incident. That's why I was just staring at the floor. I didn't even acknowledge your existence for a while there. I'm sorry about that." He apologized. Kuro's story made Mahiru want to cry, but he only enveloped the vampire into his arms instead. Frantically, Kuro continued. _"I'm sorry for making you worry about me. I'm sorry for making you comfort me. I'm sorry for confessing to you. Im sorry for telling you about my life and how I wanted to end it. I'm sorry for pulling you into my fucked up life. I'm sorry for-"_

Kuro's apology was cut off as Mahiru pulled out of the hug and gently placed his lips on Kuro's. Shocked, he tensed up. Mahiru pulled away, worried that he fucked up everything entirely. Kuro stared into Mahiru's eyes, mouth open slightly in shock, before slowly closing the distance between the two boys' mouths once more. He kissed his Eve slowly and carefully. Afraid that if he was too rough he would come off as desperate or forceful. Tingles ran up Mahiru's spine. After a small length of time had passed, Mahiru began to pick up the pace, moving his mouth against Kuro's passionately. Kuro took the increase in tempo as an invitation to kiss the brunette harder.

The vampire's hand gently found it's place under Mahiru's chin, tilting his face upwards to reach Kuro's. The pair rose from a sitting to a kneeling position as Kuro hurriedly took off his t-shirt. Their lips only separated when Mahiru helped Kuro get it over his shoulder. After Mahiru's shirt was off as well, Kuro rose above him, slowly pushing him back down to a laying position on the bed. They kissed for a while more before breaking apart. 

"This is pretty intense for my first kiss." Kuro mumbled, gently brushing his lips against Mahiru's cheek.

"W-wait, your first kiss?" Mahiru exclaimed, sitting upright once more. "This is your _first_ kiss? _Ever?_ " 

"Well yeah... I suppose..." He muttered, looking away. 

" _Waitwaitwaitwait_... How old are you?"

"Dunno, I kind of lost count."

"And this is seriously the first time you have ever kissed anyone?" 

"Is that a problem?"

"No I just assumed that you had... But this is seriously your first time?" Mahiru gasped and brought his hands up to his mouth. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Kuro grumbled, a bit annoyed. He just wanted to start kissing Mahiru again.

"Well, I mean, first kisses are supposed to be awkward and clumsy... Not so intense, and not to mention that our _shirts_ are off." He explained. "Actually, how are you so good at kissing if you've never done it before?" 

"How should I know? So, since you were so surprised at me never having kissed anyone before, I'm assuming that you have?"

"Sakuya."

"Ah." Kuro mumbled. "Can we go back to kissing now?" 

"Straight to the point, huh?" 

"J-shut up." Kuro leaned into Mahiru once more, slowly brushing his lips against his Eve's. After a couple more minutes, Mahiru said that he was getting tired. He had to get up early tomorrow for a thing, so they would have to go to sleep fairly soon. Kuro reluctantly agreed and settled into bed beside Mahiru once more. 

"Are you still upset?" Mahiru asked, gently playing with Kuro's hair.

"About what?" He asked, looking up at Mahiru.

"Your memory."

"Without a doubt. One make out session isn't going to un-fuck my entire life, Mahiru."

"Ahaha, I guess you're right. But you aren't feeling as bad as earlier?"

"I'm feeling better, kind of."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah, I suppose." Kuro mumbled and cuddled into Mahiru's side, the brunette's arm around him. After a short span of time, the two drifted off to sleep together.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated! If you want to get ahold of me for requests, questions, etc. you can message me on my tumblr(s): @TrueCrossGhoul & @nekopiree


End file.
